The Civil Wars are back. This hurts my heart in a good way. I cannot wait to hear the new album. I have high expectations, and would bet my life that they will blow them away.

Took my first fall today. I was waiting for it because I was fearing it so much, lol. I’m sure it won’t be the first. Luckily, I fell on my ass, so I had some cushion. But my whole back tensed up, and I couldn’t take in a breath for a good minute. I’ve never felt back pain like that before. Like I was just in a car accident. I’m constantly reminded of how old I am. I’m not as flexible, fit, and agile as I used to be. But it’s my fault. And honestly, this is what I wanted…I wanted longboarding to kick my ass so that I could get some fight back in me. So I would start giving a shit again. So that I could just feel again, even if it’s searing back pain. I need something to get me out of my comfort zone, something to get me to stop locking myself up inside. I used to be so expressive…I used to write, reflect, sing, play, learn, and be passionate. But not anymore…not like I used to be. And now I don’t know who I am. I need to express myself again. And then eventually have fun. It’s the first time I’ve felt hungry for anything. The pain is better now…been stretching on the old yoga mat, self-medicating with motrin, staying hydrated, and getting potassium in my system.

So you see…longboading therapy is already working ;) It’s my light. My piece of something positive. And even though it literally hurts to breathe, I can’t wait to get back on the board. (And am grateful that I can). I know I’m a longboarder. I know that longboarding is going to be my anchor and my wings. Please keep me safe long enough to bomb hills and slide.

i don’t repost often, but daaaaaaamn

ophiophilist:

lady-banner:

avatar-spleen:

Kyoshi Warriors @ SakuraCon

These guys were amazing!!

holy shit!

Damn! Best cosplay or best cosplay?

(via kirstivitea)

so i’m taking up longboarding.

my set ups:

-1- 2013 Landyachtz Switch 35 // Khiro 1/2 inch angled risers 80a // Bear Grizzly 852s, pearl white (with stock bushings, for now) // Dregs Soy Luv Yo Muthas 78a

-2- 2013 Landyachtz Dingy // Front truck: Bennett 4.3 with Khiro shockpad, 15*+ wedging, Holey smokies 72a bushings // Rear truck: Tracker RTS with Khiro shockpad, 10* dewedging, Venom Eliminator 85a bushing boardside and Venom SHR Barrel bushing 81a roadside // Abec 11 Retro ZigZags 83a

After over 2 months of research, choosing my parts, and putting it all together myself, I’m ready to get my ass kicked and begin my love/hate relationship with longboarding.

This is the first new beer I’ve had in a while…a lot has happened. (By the way, it’s excellent). And a lot continues to happen. That’s life for ya. I don’t think I’ll be able to catch up with all the days I’ve missed. Not to mention, this “Year of Beer” is expensive! The money it’s taking out of my wallet is kind of taking the joy out of this project, sighh. And not to mention (part II), that I spontaneously took on another project..sewing a cosplay of Sokka, the Fire Nation version, from Avatar: The Last Airbender for Otakon, so that took up a good straight 2 weeks (I’m talking about several all-nighters in a row on top of work because I was teaching myself how to sew while sewing, lol). It was quite thrilling and stressful at the same time! I’m itching to start another sewing project, but I’d really like to take some classes first.

But anyway, today started out really shitty and ended pretty good, and I felt compelled to get my lazy brain to write a bit before I rot in hell the next 3 days at work. Earlier this day was so shitty I cried. For my “Finding Nemo” fans…remember the part where Marlin and Dory are following a pretty bright light, only to find this raging sharp-toothed monster of a fish about to devour them? Yeahhhh…

4 cigarettes later, I was home, still frustrated and still kind of shocked. But I also surprised myself. I could’ve let it go, but I spoke up, and even though I still got screwed, even though I still want to fight, at least I made an effort to stand up for myself. I don’t think I’ve ever done that in my whole life. Really. (Yes, I’m that sheltered).

Later on, my mom, dad, and I went to The Fairway to get some groceries. And then we ate dinner together outside on the deck. And it was pleasant. For a while, it was just my dad and I. We would say a few words. And then it would be quiet. And then a few more words. Then quiet. Yeah…I take after my dad’s social skills I think, lol. Ever since his surgery almost a month ago, I’m always trying to find some small way to help him. It terrifies me sometimes when i think of how vulnerable he is at this time. The other night, he had to go to the ER. Luckily it was just kidney stones. It’s not necessarily that I’m afraid of losing him. I’m more afraid of him being in pain. It scares me more than anything. I’m not a brave person. I’m not as tough as I thought, not by a longshot. I’m incredibly weak, and I was so weak this past month. Tension anchored in my throat from sheer panic of where each day would take us and hoping everything goes right. And still now, in the back of my heart is fear because I still never completely shook off the fear from when he went from having trouble breathing during a game of tennis to cardiac cath to open heart surgery. But I don’t want that fear to make me see him so differently, like this fragile and helpless thing. He’s not a pet…he’s my dad.

Lately, he’s been having trouble sleeping, so I offered this tea that I drink and said I could do Reiki. I wasn’t sure how he’d feel about it, but he was up for it. He even said, “yeah, I believe in that stuff.” Lol. My mom brought out some dessert…french apple pie…and kept pushing it on my dad. “Just a little is fine!” But my dad is so good…he only had a small bite because, even though my mom was convinced it’s healthier than regular apple pie, he damn well knows there’s still butter and sugar in it. Crazy lady. Then we were talking about the Philippines…one of my favorite subjects ;)

During Reiki, I wasn’t sure what would happen. I was kind of scared that it would make him anxious because he gets anxious easily (something I also take after). Well, when I finished, he was asleep! Guess it worked =) I had a hard time focusing because I kept wondering how it would affect him. Luckily with Reiki, energy will flow through you, regardless of your focus. It was the first time I was doing Reiki where the person is lying down. But it’s times like these that are the reason why I wanted to learn Reiki. It was a way of helping that I was drawn to. Since I was young, I always knew that my purpose was to help, but I didn’t know how. I also knew that “healing” was important. Reiki for me is a piece of that puzzle. It’s something I wanted to be able to offer to a person in need of some sort of healing. For my dad to accept it, it really means something different. It makes me feel honored to know Reiki, and gives that knowledge a deeper purpose for me. As much bullshit as I put up with at work, no matter what other people might think of me, I can always remember the time I used Reiki to help my dad as he recovers to remind me of who I am…that I’m not nothing, that I’m worth something, that I am capable and can help and will help if I can, because that’s all I need.

Beer #14 - Schneider Weisse Unser Original

I visited The Fairway, the new fancy grocery store on 46. Just to give you an idea of how packed this place is, they have a map of the store on each shopping cart. I found my way to the beer section, which is quite impressive for a grocery store in New Jersey. We’re not quite at the same craft beer abundance that New York is at (growlers at Duane Reade…effing Duane Reade!!!), but I can’t complain. I picked up this beer because it’s another hot ass day, and I wanted something refreshing. I see this beer everywhere, so I thought it was time to try it. This beer was an excellent choice, if I do say so myself. The style is “Hefeweizen”. It pours out a dull, cloudy, leathery brown, like apple cider, with a lasting pillowy head. The taste caught me off guard, but it became a similar experience to the one I had with the Dogfish Peche. There is a lemony sour taste to it, with some sort of spice in the mouth and nose, like cloves. It’s very interesting…I feel like the spice stays in your mouth for a bit. Carbonation dies fairly quickly. There’s barely a hop taste, with a little metallic bubblegum at the end. For some reason, at first sip, I wanted to have this with sushi, haha. I’m not very knowledgeable when it comes to food/beer pairings, but that was the first thought that came to mind. I also feel like this would be a great beer slushy.

letting my inner-geek show for two seconds…this got me all sentimental *tear*

Beer #12 - Oskar Blues Ten Fidy Imperial Stout

Wow. So stouts are one of my favorite styles of beer, and this is definitely one of the richest I’ve tried. I made a huge mistake in cracking this thing open on a hot evening, but I just couldn’t wait any longer to try it. This was one of those times where I wish I could’ve been more patient because it was really difficult to enjoy it in such hot temperatures. This is a beer you drink on a cold, snowy day with a giant slab of rib-eye or a hearty burger (cooked “medium,” please). Nonetheless, this is a stout I will definitely pick up again under the right conditions. For me, I don’t think I could drink this on its own. It’s very rich and pours very dark…it’s almost syrupy. It’s very sweet, and has a chocolate and coffee flavoring. Someone needs to make an ice cream flavor out of this…I’m just sayin’…

Beer #13 - Narragansett Lager

It has been a busy and exhausting few days since my last review…not a prime beer-drinking mood for me. But with the heat we had and work, there was no way I could bring myself to drink anything other than ice cold water. But I’m back and now it’s time to play catch-up.

This is a beer I imagine people drink after mowing the lawn, haha. It actually reminds me a bit of PBR, but with slightly better quality and more flavor. It pours a very clear golden yellow with a quick-dissipating head. It’s a good old-fashioned, refreshing, easily drinkable beer. BUT…it’s hard for me to appreciate a beer like this. I didn’t even want to finish it. This is American, mass-produced beer. Not craft beer. In other reviews, people can taste or smell corn, grain, breadiness, even some fruits…but I guess I haven’t drank enough of this style to taste these things because I don’t think I’m a fan. Like PBR…it’s a very nostalgic beer, and for a moment I did like it. But now, I haven’t had any urge or craving for PBR. You don’t want to drink this any warmer than “ice cold.”